Give and Take

Friend Ana met me at co-op yesterday with the statement, "Tell me you brought your camera!" "I brought my camera," I assured her. And off my camera went to her Jr High and High School art classes. It jumped back and forth between our art rooms all morning. Bloggers need their cameras, I am learning.

But the real lesson is not that bloggers need cameras, it is that people need community. It made me happy that Ana needed something and felt comfortable enough in our friendship to ask me for it. Too often the message in our society is: "Be independent and do not need anyone's help!" There is a richness and comfort in having your own people (community) that you can call on in need, or be called upon by them in their need.

When I was in my teens, we had a lovely young neighbor family on a farm near us. Our families did a lot together, and loved each other. The wife would do anything for you, and was always there to help if you needed her. But, she was extremely uncomfortable receiving help from others. You just could not do anything FOR her. Thus the relationship was warm, but never entirely comfortable.

We all need help sometimes. You are giving a gift when you help others, but don't forget that you are also giving a gift when you need others' help:

It makes me feel necessary and wise when my friend Brenda calls me for crafting advice for her youth group work.

It feeds both my friend Lori and I when we get together for "therapy" (lunch) and share all our kid raising struggles.

It is a comfort to me to know that my friend Nancy will take my kids and shuffle them along at co-op if I have to be gone, and I am pleased to know that she can call me for the same.

My friend Bonnie makes me lemon bars every year for my birthday, and it delights me every time.

My sister sometimes calls me at the last minute for emergency child care, or recipe or homemaking advice-I am so glad someone thinks I am an expert in these areas!

My friend Mary says I "ground her"- I don't fully understand what she means by that, but I surely like it that my friendship is a help to her in some small way in her busy, interesting life.

My friend Karen drove four hours and was my "personal attendant" when my oldest son was married. She did everything from scrub kitchen cabinets to oversee and decorate the reception hall. Invaluable.

My friend and "spare mother" Lois has helped me with everything and anything over the years. There have been many times in my hectic child-raising years that I calmed myself by thinking, "I could always call Lois."

So, relax and open yourself to others. Ask someone to help you, or accept kind help when it is offered. If you do, your life and others' will be richer and better for it. It is blessed to give AND to receive.